Suck mai cock.

>>1955793

спиким

спикаем

Хуиз он дьюти тудей

А вот хуй вам ПСССССССССССС­СССССССССС

>>1955809
OP, pohoje, negramotnyj.

>>1955821
A ty, pohoje, anglijskogo ne znaesh)))

>>1955832
Ty toje, LOL)))

The voice of rejoicing and salvation is in the tabernacles of the
righteous: the right hand of the LORD doeth valiantly.
 — Psalms 118:15

Who shall give account to him that is ready to judge the quick and
the dead.
 — 1 Peter 4:5

But when his brethren were gone up, then went he also up unto the
feast, not openly, but as it were in secret.
 — John 7:10

And they said unto him, Behold now, there be with thy servants
fifty strong men; let them go, we pray thee, and seek thy master:
lest peradventure the Spirit of the LORD hath taken him up, and
cast him upon some mountain, or into some valley. And he said, Ye
shall not send.
 — 2 Kings 2:16

He hath said in his heart, I shall not be moved: for I shall never
be in adversity.
 — Psalms 10:6

And it shall be, when he lieth down, that thou shalt mark the place
where he shall lie, and thou shalt go in, and uncover his feet,
and lay thee down; and he will tell thee what thou shalt do.
 — Ruth 3:4

Neither shall the inheritance remove from one tribe to another
tribe; but every one of the tribes of the children of Israel shall
keep himself to his own inheritance.
 — Numbers 36:9

My calculator is my shepherd, I shall not want
It maketh me accurate to ten significant figures,
and it leadeth me in scientific notation to 99 digits.
It restoreth my square roots and guideth me along paths of floating
decimal points for the sake of precision.
Yea, tho I walk through the valley of surprise quizzes,
I will fear no prof, for my calculator is there to hearten me.
It prepareth a log table to comfort me, it prepareth an
arc sin for me in the presence of my teachers.
It annoints my homework with correct solutions, my interpolations are
over.
Surely, both precision and accuracy shall follow me all the days of my
life, and I shall dwell in the house of Texas instruments forever.

Ho, ho, come forth, and flee from the land of the north, saith the
LORD: for I have spread you abroad as the four winds of the heaven,
saith the LORD.
 — Zechariah 2:6

Yow! Is this sexual intercourse yet?? Is it, huh, is it??

That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in
charity, in patience.
 — Titus 2:2

The righteous man wisely considereth the house of the wicked: but
God overthroweth the wicked for their wickedness.
 — Proverbs 21:12

But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought
thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of
Christ.
 — Romans 14:10

Linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste
 — ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93

Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant
of his devices.
 — 2 Corinthians 2:11

And the rest of the acts of Pekah, and all that he did, behold,
they are written in the book of the chronicles of the kings of
Israel.
 — 2 Kings 15:31

And I that am the LORD thy God from the land of Egypt will yet make
thee to dwell in tabernacles, as in the days of the solemn feast.
 — Hosea 12:9

And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou
sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou
liest down, and when thou risest up.
 — Deuteronomy 11:19

I commend unto you Phebe our sister, which is a servant of the
church which is at Cenchrea:
 — Romans 16:1

Largest Number of Driving Test Failures
By April 1970 Mrs. Miriam Hargrave had failed her test thirty-nine
times. In the eight preceding years she had received two hundred and
twelve driving lessons at a cost of L300. She set the new record while
driving triumphantly through a set of red traffic lights in Wakefield,
Yorkshire. Disappointingly, she passed at the fortieth attempt (3 August
1970) but eight years later she showed some of her old magic when she was
reported as saying that she still didn't like doing right-hand turns.
 — Stephen Pile, «The Book of Heroic Failures»

QOTD:
«What women and psychologists call `dropping your armor', we call
"baring your neck.»

If we assay to commune with thee, wilt thou be grieved? but who
can withhold himself from speaking?
 — Job 4:2

And I will break the pride of your power; and I will make your
heaven as iron, and your earth as brass:
 — Leviticus 26:19

Ballistophobia:
Fear of bullets;
Otophobia:
Fear of opening one's eyes.
Peccatophobia:
Fear of sinning.
Taphephobia:
Fear of being buried alive.
Sitophobia:
Fear of food.
Trichophobbia:
Fear of hair.
Vestiphobia:
Fear of clothing.

Two hundred years ago today, Irma Chine of White Plains, New York, was
performing her normal housekeeping routines. She was interrupted by
British soldiers who, rallying to the call of their supervisor, General
Hughes, sought to gain control of the voter registration lists kept in
her home. Masking her fear and thinking fast, Mrs. Chine quickly divided
a nearby apple in two and deftly stored the list in its center. Upon
entering, the British blatantly violated every conceivable convention,
and, though they went through the house virtually bit by bit, their
search was fruitless. They had to return empty handed. Word of the
incident propagated rapidly through the region. This historic event
became the first documented use of core storage for the saving of registers.

Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self.

I will heap mischiefs upon them; I will spend mine arrows upon
them.
 — Deuteronomy 32:23

But I know you, that ye have not the love of God in you.
 — John 5:42

Vote anarchist.

Possessions increase to fill the space available for their storage.
 — Ryan

Whoso keepeth the commandment shall feel no evil thing: and a wise
man's heart discerneth both time and judgment.
 — Ecclesiastes 8:5

By humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, and honour, and
life.
 — Proverbs 22:4

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things
which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal;
but the things which are not seen are eternal.
 — 2 Corinthians 4:18

And he gave him none inheritance in it, no, not so much as to set
his foot on: yet he promised that he would give it to him for a
possession, and to his seed after him, when as yet he had no child.
 — Acts 7:5

Ye shall not eat one day, nor two days, nor five days, neither ten
days, nor twenty days;
 — Numbers 11:19

And they left the house of the LORD God of their fathers, and served
groves and idols: and wrath came upon Judah and Jerusalem for this
their trespass.
 — 2 Chronicles 24:18

And likewise for the north side in length there shall be hangings
of an hundred cubits long, and his twenty pillars and their twenty
sockets of brass; the hooks of the pillars and their fillets of
silver.
 — Exodus 27:11

And this man went up out of his city yearly to worship and to
sacrifice unto the LORD of hosts in Shiloh. And the two sons of
Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, the priests of the LORD, were there.
 — 1 Samuel 1:3

The appearance of them is as the appearance of horses; and as
horsemen, so shall they run.
 — Joel 2:4

Concerning Edom, thus saith the LORD of hosts; Is wisdom no more
in Teman? is counsel perished from the prudent? is their wisdom
vanished?
 — Jeremiah 49:7

One Page Principle:
A specification that will not fit on one page of 8.5×11 inch
paper cannot be understood.
 — Mark Ardis

And they shall come from the cities of Judah, and from the places
about Jerusalem, and from the land of Benjamin, and from the plain,
and from the mountains, and from the south, bringing burnt offerings,
and sacrifices, and meat offerings, and incense, and bringing
sacrifices of praise, unto the house of the LORD.
 — Jeremiah 17:26

The primary requisite for any new tax law is for it to exempt enough
voters to win the next election.

A domineering man married a mere wisp of a girl. He came back from
his honeymoon a chastened man. He'd become aware of the will of the wisp.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be
regarded as a criminal offence.
 — Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5

Jesus answered him, If I have spoken evil, bear witness of the
evil: but if well, why smitest thou me?
 — John 18:23

Chinese saying: «He who speak with forked tongue, not need chopsticks.»

And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the
house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.
 — Matthew 21:13

There was also a lot for the rest of the children of Manasseh by
their families; for the children of Abiezer, and for the children
of Helek, and for the children of Asriel, and for the children of
Shechem, and for the children of Hepher, and for the children of
Shemida: these were the male children of Manasseh the son of Joseph
by their families.
 — Joshua 17:2

And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold,
Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife
of Nahor, Abraham's brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder.
 — Genesis 24:15

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life
for his friends.
 — John 15:13

A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
 — Michael Winner, British film director

In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and his children
shall have a place of refuge.
 — Proverbs 14:26

And this shall be his uncleanness in his issue: whether his flesh
run with his issue, or his flesh be stopped from his issue, it is
his uncleanness.
 — Leviticus 15:3

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to
give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope
that is in you with meekness and fear:
 — 1 Peter 3:15

Intellect annuls Fate.
So far as a man thinks, he is free.
 — Ralph Waldo Emerson

And when he was accused of the chief priests and elders, he answered
nothing.
 — Matthew 27:12

So the people shouted when the priests blew with the trumpets: and
it came to pass, when the people heard the sound of the trumpet,
and the people shouted with a great shout, that the wall fell down
flat, so that the people went up into the city, every man straight
before him, and they took the city.
 — Joshua 6:20

So Sennacherib king of Assyria departed, and went and returned,
and dwelt at Nineveh.
 — 2 Kings 19:36

Ten fat oxen, and twenty oxen out of the pastures, and an hundred
sheep, beside harts, and roebucks, and fallowdeer, and fatted fowl.
 — 1 Kings 4:23

At the end of your life there'll be a good rest, and no further activities
are scheduled.

The LORD's voice crieth unto the city, and the man of wisdom shall
see thy name: hear ye the rod, and who hath appointed it.
 — Micah 6:9

For he served Baal, and worshipped him, and provoked to anger the
LORD God of Israel, according to all that his father had done.
 — 1 Kings 22:53

Then released he Barabbas unto them: and when he had scourged Jesus,
he delivered him to be crucified.
 — Matthew 27:26

And Israel beheld Joseph's sons, and said, Who are these?
 — Genesis 48:8

I speak not of you all: I know whom I have chosen: but that the
scripture may be fulfilled, He that eateth bread with me hath lifted
up his heel against me.
 — John 13:18

And when Asa heard these words, and the prophecy of Oded the prophet,
he took courage, and put away the abominable idols out of all the
land of Judah and Benjamin, and out of the cities which he had
taken from mount Ephraim, and renewed the altar of the LORD, that
was before the porch of the LORD.
 — 2 Chronicles 15:8

The cedars in the garden of God could not hide him: the fir trees
were not like his boughs, and the chestnut trees were not like his
branches; nor any tree in the garden of God was like unto him in
his beauty.
 — Ezekiel 31:8

Behold, I have told you before.
 — Matthew 24:25

Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.
 — Herodotus

Thou sellest thy people for nought, and dost not increase thy wealth
by their price.
 — Psalms 44:12

Two women shall be grinding together; the one shall be taken, and
the other left.
 — Luke 17:35

Johnson's law:
Systems resemble the organizations that create them.

With the hoofs of his horses shall he tread down all thy streets:
he shall slay thy people by the sword, and thy strong garrisons
shall go down to the ground.
 — Ezekiel 26:11

What is irritating about love is that it is a crime that requires an accomplice.
 — Charles Baudelaire

And they said, What need we any further witness? for we ourselves
have heard of his own mouth.
 — Luke 22:71

And many of them said, He hath a devil, and is mad; why hear ye
him?
 — John 10:20

And he said unto him, If thy presence go not with me, carry us not
up hence.
 — Exodus 33:15

<<<<< EVACUATION ROUTE <<<<<

Finding out what goes on in the C.I.A. is like performing acupuncture
on a rock.
 — New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981

The instruments of science do not in themselves discover truth. And there are
searchings that are not concluded by the coincidence of a pointer and a mark.
 — Fred Saberhagen, «The Berserker Wars»

Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are
justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace.
 — Galatians 5:4

Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to assistant
professor; equality is when a female schlemiel moves ahead as fast as a
male schlemiel.
 — Ewald Nyquist

Because of thine indignation and thy wrath: for thou hast lifted
me up, and cast me down.
 — Psalms 102:10

They feared the LORD, and served their own gods, after the manner
of the nations whom they carried away from thence.
 — 2 Kings 17:33

Then cometh he to a city of Samaria, which is called Sychar, near
to the parcel of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph.
 — John 4:5

Our fathers trusted in thee: they trusted, and thou didst deliver
them.
 — Psalms 22:4

«It's no sweat, Henry. Russ made it back to Bugtown before he died. So he'll
regenerate in a couple of days. It's just awful sloppy of him to get killed in
the first place. Humph!»
-- Ron Post, Post Brothers Comics

And David spake unto the LORD the words of this song in the day
that the LORD had delivered him out of the hand of all his enemies,
and out of the hand of Saul:
 — 2 Samuel 22:1

Then shall they know that I am the LORD, when I have laid the land
most desolate because of all their abominations which they have
committed.
 — Ezekiel 33:29

They answered him, Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus saith unto them, I am
he. And Judas also, which betrayed him, stood with them.
 — John 18:5

And ye came near and stood under the mountain; and the mountain
burned with fire unto the midst of heaven, with darkness, clouds,
and thick darkness.
 — Deuteronomy 4:11

And they came and besought them, and brought them out, and desired
them to depart out of the city.
 — Acts 16:39

The minute a man is convinced that he is interesting, he isn't.

Then ye shall drive out all the inhabitants of the land from before
you, and destroy all their pictures, and destroy all their molten
images, and quite pluck down all their high places:
 — Numbers 33:52

And he made ten bases of brass; four cubits was the length of one
base, and four cubits the breadth thereof, and three cubits the
height of it.
 — 1 Kings 7:27

Ye shall not go after other gods, of the gods of the people which
are round about you;
 — Deuteronomy 6:14

And he took thereof in his hands, and went on eating, and came to
his father and mother, and he gave them, and they did eat: but he
told not them that he had taken the honey out of the carcase of
the lion.
 — Judges 14:9

Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but
for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners,
for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of
mothers, for manslayers,
 — 1 Timothy 1:9

HOW TO PROVE IT, PART 3

proof by obfuscation:
A long plotless sequence of true and/or meaningless
syntactically related statements.

proof by wishful citation:
The author cites the negation, converse, or generalization of
a theorem from the literature to support his claims.

proof by funding:
How could three different government agencies be wrong?

proof by eminent authority:
‹I saw Karp in the elevator and he said it was probably NP-
complete.›

But godliness with contentment is great gain.
 — 1 Timothy 6:6

Haste makes waste.
 — John Heywood

After a time, you may find that «having» is not so pleasing a thing,
after all, as «wanting.» It is not logical, but it is often true.
 — Spock, «Amok Time», stardate 3372.7

Let your heart therefore be perfect with the LORD our God, to walk
in his statutes, and to keep his commandments, as at this day.
 — 1 Kings 8:61

Ten persons who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.
 — Napoleon I

So they took the king, and brought him up to the king of Babylon
to Riblah; and they gave judgment upon him.
 — 2 Kings 25:6

There are more things in heaven and earth than any place else.

I want to buy a husband who, every week when I sit down to watch «St.
Elsewhere», won't scream, «Forget it, Blanche… It's time for Hee-Haw!»
 — Berke Breathed, «Bloom County»

For I testify again to every man that is circumcised, that he is
a debtor to do the whole law.
 — Galatians 5:3

And the king of Israel said unto Jehoshaphat, There is yet one man,
Micaiah the son of Imlah, by whom we may enquire of the LORD: but
I hate him; for he doth not prophesy good concerning me, but evil.
And Jehoshaphat said, Let not the king say so.
 — 1 Kings 22:8

Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity. Peace be with you all
that are in Christ Jesus. Amen.
 — 1 Peter 5:14

Now it came to pass upon a day, that Jonathan the son of Saul said
unto the young man that bare his armour, Come, and let us go over
to the Philistines' garrison, that is on the other side. But he
told not his father.
 — 1 Samuel 14:1

These are they that were numbered by Moses and Eleazar the priest,
who numbered the children of Israel in the plains of Moab by Jordan
near Jericho.
 — Numbers 26:63

And Jesus said unto him, Forbid him not: for he that is not against
us is for us.
 — Luke 9:50

And Shebaniah, and Jehoshaphat, and Nethaneel, and Amasai, and
Zechariah, and Benaiah, and Eliezer, the priests, did blow with
the trumpets before the ark of God: and Obededom and Jehiah were
doorkeepers for the ark.
 — 1 Chronicles 15:24

Gold, n.:
A soft malleable metal relatively scarce in distribution. It is mined
deep in the earth by poor men who then give it to rich men who immediately
bury it back in the earth in great prisons, although gold hasn't done
anything to them.
 — Mike Harding, «The Armchair Anarchist's Al­manac»

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If
any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
 — 1 John 2:15

And Zichri, a mighty man of Ephraim, slew Maaseiah the king's son,
and Azrikam the governor of the house, and Elkanah that was next
to the king.
 — 2 Chronicles 28:7

Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her.
 — Vanbrugh

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and
his commandments are not grievous.
 — 1 John 5:3

But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun shall be darkened,
and the moon shall not give her light,
 — Mark 13:24

Now therefore hear thou the word of the LORD: Thou sayest, Prophesy
not against Israel, and drop not thy word against the house of
Isaac.
 — Amos 7:16

For the tribe of the children of Reuben according to the house of
their fathers, and the tribe of the children of Gad according to
the house of their fathers, have received their inheritance; and
half the tribe of Manasseh have received their inheritance:
 — Numbers 34:14

Keep your laws off my body!

That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having
spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy
and without blemish.
 — Ephesians 5:27

Since this database is not used for profit, and since entire works are not
published, it falls under fair use, as we understand it. However, if any
half-assed idiot decides to make a profit off of this, they will need to
double check it all…
 — Notes included with the default fortunes database

F: When into a room I plunge, I
Sometimes find some VIOLET FUNGI.
Then I linger, darkly brooding
On the poison they're exuding.
 — The Roguelet's ABC

And Ezra opened the book in the sight of all the people; (for he
was above all the people;) and when he opened it, all the people
stood up:
 — Nehemiah 8:5

paycheck:
The weekly $5.27 that remains after deductions for federal
withholding, state withholding, city withholding, FICA,
medical/dental, long-term disability, unemployment insurance,
Christmas Club, and payroll savings plan contributions.

Then they suborned men, which said, We have heard him speak
blasphemous words against Moses, and against God.
 — Acts 6:11

When the king of Babylon's army fought against Jerusalem, and
against all the cities of Judah that were left, against Lachish,
and against Azekah: for these defenced cities remained of the cities
of Judah.
 — Jeremiah 34:7

If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take
ye thought for the rest?
 — Luke 12:26

I'll eat ANYTHING that's BRIGHT BLUE!!

And he asked the scribes, What question ye with them?
 — Mark 9:16

Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath
appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds;
 — Hebrews 1:2

I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word ‹fair› in connection
with income tax policies.
 — William F. Buckley

And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be
the Saviour of the world.
 — 1 John 4:14

So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth,
but of God that sheweth mercy.
 — Romans 9:16

I will therefore put you in remembrance, though ye once knew this,
how that the Lord, having saved the people out of the land of Egypt,
afterward destroyed them that believed not.
 — Jude 1:5

But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto
idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience
sake: for the earth is the Lord's, and the fulness thereof:
 — 1 Corinthians 10:28

«I think they're going to take all this money that we spend now on war
and death --»
«And make them spend it on life.»
 — Edith Keeler and Kirk, «The City on the Edge of Forever»,
stardate unknown.

My beloved is gone down into his garden, to the beds of spices, to
feed in the gardens, and to gather lilies.
 — Song of Solomon 6:2

Any philosophy that can be put «in a nutshell» belongs there.
 — Sydney J. Harris

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for
signs of improvement.
 — Florida Scott-Maxwell

The personal computer market is about the same size as the total potato chip
market. Next year it will be about half the size of the pet food market and
is fast approaching the total worldwide sales of pantyhose"
 — James Finke, Commodore Int'l Ltd., 1982

And the flesh and the hide he burnt with fire without the camp.
 — Leviticus 9:11

And he placed forces in all the fenced cities of Judah, and set
garrisons in the land of Judah, and in the cities of Ephraim, which
Asa his father had taken.
 — 2 Chronicles 17:2

Of the half tribe of Manasseh in Gilead, Iddo the son of Zechariah:
of Benjamin, Jaasiel the son of Abner:
 — 1 Chronicles 27:21

And when it was day, he called unto him his disciples: and of them
he chose twelve, whom also he named apostles;
 — Luke 6:13

And the idols he shall utterly abolish.
 — Isaiah 2:18

Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the
LORD, mercy shall compass him about.
 — Psalms 32:10

He removed the high places, and brake the images, and cut down the
groves, and brake in pieces the brasen serpent that Moses had made:
for unto those days the children of Israel did burn incense to it:
and he called it Nehushtan.
 — 2 Kings 18:4

Jesus answered and said unto him, Because I said unto thee, I saw
thee under the fig tree, believest thou? thou shalt see greater
things than these.
 — John 1:50

That thou mayest remember, and be confounded, and never open thy
mouth any more because of thy shame, when I am pacified toward thee
for all that thou hast done, saith the Lord GOD.
 — Ezekiel 16:63

Then what prayer or what supplication soever shall be made of any
man, or of all thy people Israel, when every one shall know his
own sore and his own grief, and shall spread forth his hands in
this house:
 — 2 Chronicles 6:29

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
 — Genesis 1:1

Intel CPUs are not defective, they just act that way.
 — Henry Spencer

The Jews had light, and gladness, and joy, and honour.
 — Esther 8:16

The Jews ordained, and took upon them, and upon their seed, and
upon all such as joined themselves unto them, so as it should not
fail, that they would keep these two days according to their writing,
and according to their appointed time every year;
 — Esther 9:27

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
 — Scottish Proverb

Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered
unto him.
 — Matthew 4:11

So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee.
 — Psalms 73:22

And, behold, thou hast with thee Shimei the son of Gera, a Benjamite
of Bahurim, which cursed me with a grievous curse in the day when
I went to Mahanaim: but he came down to meet me at Jordan, and I
sware to him by the LORD, saying, I will not put thee to death with
the sword.
 — 1 Kings 2:8

Riches and honour are with me; yea, durable riches and righteousness.
 — Proverbs 8:18

And they shall fill thy houses, and the houses of all thy servants,
and the houses of all the Egyptians; which neither thy fathers,
nor thy fathers' fathers have seen, since the day that they were
upon the earth unto this day. And he turned himself, and went out
from Pharaoh.
 — Exodus 10:6

The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity
-- the rest is overhead for the operating system.

And Isaac his father answered and said unto him, Behold, thy dwelling
shall be the fatness of the earth, and of the dew of heaven from
above;
 — Genesis 27:39

Carry neither purse, nor scrip, nor shoes: and salute no man by
the way.
 — Luke 10:4

For I would not, brethren, that ye should be ignorant of this
mystery, lest ye should be wise in your own conceits; that blindness
in part is happened to Israel, until the fulness of the Gentiles
be come in.
 — Romans 11:25

• dark greets liw with a small yellow frog.
• liw kisses the frog and watches it transform to a beautiful nerd

  girl, takes her out to ice cream, and lives happily forever after

  with her

<dark> liw: Umm it's too late to have the frog back?

The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: because the spirit of the
LORD bloweth upon it: surely the people is grass.
 — Isaiah 40:7

The six great gifts of an Irish girl are beauty, soft voice, sweet speech,
wisdom, needlework, and chastity.
 — Theodore Roosevelt, 1907

From thirty years old and upward even unto fifty years old, every
one that entereth into the service, for the work in the tabernacle
of the congregation,
 — Numbers 4:39

Then the disciples looked one on another, doubting of whom he spake.
 — John 13:22

It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a
brawling woman and in a wide house.
 — Proverbs 25:24

Therefore hear ye the word of the LORD, all Judah that dwell in
the land of Egypt; Behold, I have sworn by my great name, saith
the LORD, that my name shall no more be named in the mouth of any
man of Judah in all the land of Egypt, saying, The Lord GOD liveth.
 — Jeremiah 44:26

So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward
God.
 — Luke 12:21

Therefore is judgment far from us, neither doth justice overtake
us: we wait for light, but behold obscurity; for brightness, but
we walk in darkness.
 — Isaiah 59:9

Wash thyself therefore, and anoint thee, and put thy raiment upon
thee, and get thee down to the floor: but make not thyself known
unto the man, until he shall have done eating and drinking.
 — Ruth 3:3

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?
 — Socrates' last words

This shall be the service of the sons of Kohath in the tabernacle
of the congregation, about the most holy things:
 — Numbers 4:4

And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
 — Numbers 27:6

Delta: We never make the same mistake three times.  — David Letterman

I will also make it a possession for the bittern, and pools of
water: and I will sweep it with the besom of destruction, saith
the LORD of hosts.
 — Isaiah 14:23

Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?
 — John Heywood

History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge,
periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them
asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at
intervals, casts its too narrow skin and assumes another… Truly the imago
state of Man seems to be terribly distant, but every moult is a step gained.
 — Charles Darwin, from «Origin of the Species»

And the border from the sea shall be Hazarenan, the border of
Damascus, and the north northward, and the border of Hamath. And
this is the north side.
 — Ezekiel 47:17

And it came to pass, when the people removed from their tents, to
pass over Jordan, and the priests bearing the ark of the covenant
before the people;
 — Joshua 3:14

Chapter 1

The story so far:

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot
of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
 — Douglas Adams, HHGG #2, (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe).

«The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain.»
 — G. Fitch

So Ahab sent unto all the children of Israel, and gathered the
prophets together unto mount Carmel.
 — 1 Kings 18:20

The wrath of God came upon them, and slew the fattest of them, and
smote down the chosen men of Israel.
 — Psalms 78:31

Then said he unto me, Son of man, dig now in the wall: and when I
had digged in the wall, behold a door.
 — Ezekiel 8:8

And when he that hath an issue is cleansed of his issue; then he
shall number to himself seven days for his cleansing, and wash his
clothes, and bathe his flesh in running water, and shall be clean.
 — Leviticus 15:13

And of some, that Elias had appeared; and of others, that one of
the old prophets was risen again.
 — Luke 9:8

I really look with commiseration over the great body of my fellow citizens
who, reading newspapers, live and die in the belief that they have known
something of what has been passing in their time.
 — H. Truman

We fight only when there is no other choice. We prefer the ways of
peaceful contact.
 — Kirk, «Spectre of the Gun», stardate 4385.3

One of the large consolations for experiencing anything unpleasant is
the knowledge that one can communicate it.
 — Joyce Carol Oates

If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing
they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to
an open shame.
 — Hebrews 6:6

The princes digged the well, the nobles of the people digged it,
by the direction of the lawgiver, with their staves. And from the
wilderness they went to Mattanah:
 — Numbers 21:18

For the LORD your God is he that goeth with you, to fight for you
against your enemies, to save you.
 — Deuteronomy 20:4

And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Esaias, which saith, By
hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye
shall see, and shall not perceive:
 — Matthew 13:14

John answered and said, A man can receive nothing, except it be
given him from heaven.
 — John 3:27

Did Hezekiah king of Judah and all Judah put him at all to death?
did he not fear the LORD, and besought the LORD, and the LORD
repented him of the evil which he had pronounced against them? Thus
might we procure great evil against our souls.
 — Jeremiah 26:19

And the king's servants said unto him, Behold, Haman standeth in
the court. And the king said, Let him come in.
 — Esther 6:5

Dibble's First Law of Sociology:
Some do, some don't.

A young married couple had their first child. Their original pride
and joy slowly turned to concern however, for after a couple of years the
child had never uttered any form of speech. They hired the best speech
therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, all to no avail. The child simply refused
to speak. One morning when the child was five, while the husband was reading
the paper, and the wife was feeding the dog, the little kid looks up from
his bowl and said, «My cereal's cold.»
The couple is stunned. The man, in tears, confronts his son. «Son,
after all these years, why have you waited so long to say something?».
Shrugs the kid, «Everything's been okay 'til now».

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling
clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for
them in the inn.
 — Luke 2:7

And he gathered an host, and smote the Amalekites, and delivered
Israel out of the hands of them that spoiled them.
 — 1 Samuel 14:48

For when he dieth he shall carry nothing away: his glory shall not
descend after him.
 — Psalms 49:17

I suppose that in a few hours I will sober up. That's such a sad
thought. I think I'll have a few more drinks to prepare myself.

Hear me, my chiefs, I am tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the
sun now stands I Will Fight No More Forever.
 — Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce

To err is human; to forgive is simply not our policy.
 — MIT Assasination Club

Let seven men of his sons be delivered unto us, and we will hang
them up unto the LORD in Gibeah of Saul, whom the LORD did choose.
And the king said, I will give them.
 — 2 Samuel 21:6

A kiss is a course of procedure, cunningly devised, for the mutual
stoppage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous.

The tongue of the sucking child cleaveth to the roof of his mouth
for thirst: the young children ask bread, and no man breaketh it
unto them.
 — Lamentations 4:4

Did not Moses give you the law, and yet none of you keepeth the
law? Why go ye about to kill me?
 — John 7:19

And Balaam said unto Balak, Build me here seven altars, and prepare
me here seven bullocks and seven rams.
 — Numbers 23:29

Fellow programmer, greetings! You are reading a letter which will bring
you luck and good fortune. Just mail (or UUCP) ten copies of this letter
to ten of your friends. Before you make the copies, send a chip or
other bit of hardware, and 100 lines of ‹C› code to the first person on the
list given at the bottom of this letter. Then delete their name and add
yours to the bottom of the list.

Don't break the chain! Make the copy within 48 hours. Gerald R. of San
Diego failed to send out his ten copies and woke the next morning to find
his job description changed to «COBOL programmer.» Fred A. of New York sent
out his ten copies and within a month had enough hardware and software to
build a Cray dedicated to playing Zork. Martha H. of Chicago laughed at
this letter and broke the chain. Shortly thereafter, a fire broke out in
her terminal and she now spends her days writing documentation for IBM PC's.

Don't break the chain! Send out your ten copies today!
For example, if \thinmskip = 3mu, this makes \thickmskip = 6mu. But if
you also want to use \skip12 for horizontal glue, whether in math mode or
not, the amount of skipping will be in points (e.g., 6pt). The rule is
that glue in math mode varies with the size only when it is an \mskip;
when moving between an mskip and ordinary skip, the conversion factor
1mu=1pt is always used. The meaning of ‹\mskip\skip12› and
‹\baselineskip=\the\thic­kmskip› should be clear.
 — Donald Knuth, TeX 82 — Comparison with TeX80

The FALAFEL SANDWICH lands on my HEAD and I become a VEGETARIAN …

Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good;
lead me into the land of uprightness.
 — Psalms 143:10

To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house
of David; and the virgin's name was Mary.
 — Luke 1:27

As concerning the rest of the beasts, they had their dominion taken
away: yet their lives were prolonged for a season and time.
 — Daniel 7:12

Then David came to Mahanaim. And Absalom passed over Jordan, he
and all the men of Israel with him.
 — 2 Samuel 17:24

O LORD, correct me, but with judgment; not in thine anger, lest
thou bring me to nothing.
 — Jeremiah 10:24

O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.
 — Psalms 51:15

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto
wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith
the Lord.
 — Romans 12:19

But the Jews did not believe concerning him, that he had been blind,
and received his sight, until they called the parents of him that
had received his sight.
 — John 9:18

The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for
everything that goes wrong — until the next person quits or is fired.

And, behold, seven other kine came up after them, poor and very
ill favoured and leanfleshed, such as I never saw in all the land
of Egypt for badness:
 — Genesis 41:19

A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by
blowing first.

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three
years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law
school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.
 — Michael Levin, "The Socratic Method

By lot was their inheritance, as the LORD commanded by the hand of
Moses, for the nine tribes, and for the half tribe.
 — Joshua 14:2

And some of them, even of the sons of Simeon, five hundred men,
went to mount Seir, having for their captains Pelatiah, and Neariah,
and Rephaiah, and Uzziel, the sons of Ishi.
 — 1 Chronicles 4:42

Riches profit not in the day of wrath: but righteousness delivereth
from death.
 — Proverbs 11:4

I'd rather push my Harley than ride a rice burner.

Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.
 — Han Solo

Tele-Parabilizing:
Morals used in everyday life that derive from TV sitcom plots:
«That's just like the episode where Jan loses her glasses!»
 — Douglas Coupland, «Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
Culture»

And the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fig tree
casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind.
 — Revelation 6:13

And Jehoiakim gave the silver and the gold to Pharaoh; but he taxed
the land to give the money according to the commandment of Pharaoh:
he exacted the silver and the gold of the people of the land, of
every one according to his taxation, to give it unto Pharaohnechoh.
 — 2 Kings 23:35

For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth
forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have
made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.
 — Genesis 7:4

And thou shalt say unto them, Thus saith the LORD; If ye will not
hearken to me, to walk in my law, which I have set before you,
 — Jeremiah 26:4

Thus will I cause lewdness to cease out of the land, that all women
may be taught not to do after your lewdness.
 — Ezekiel 23:48

Therefore the LORD will smite with a scab the crown of the head of
the daughters of Zion, and the LORD will discover their secret
parts.
 — Isaiah 3:17

Whose possessors slay them, and hold themselves not guilty: and
they that sell them say, Blessed be the LORD; for I am rich: and
their own shepherds pity them not.
 — Zechariah 11:5

It's gonna be alright,
It's almost midnight,
And I've got two more bottles of wine.

And the garment, either warp, or woof, or whatsoever thing of skin
it be, which thou shalt wash, if the plague be departed from them,
then it shall be washed the second time, and shall be clean.
 — Leviticus 13:58

For the LORD thy God hath chosen him out of all thy tribes, to
stand to minister in the name of the LORD, him and his sons for
ever.
 — Deuteronomy 18:5

Then answered Bildad the Shuhite, and said,
 — Job 25:1

And Naarah bare him Ahuzam, and Hepher, and Temeni, and Haahashtari.
These were the sons of Naarah.
 — 1 Chronicles 4:6

People usually get what's coming to them … unless it's been mailed.

Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in the field;
and afterwards build thine house.
 — Proverbs 24:27

He who walks on burning coals is sure to get burned.
 — Sinbad

«You are old,» said the youth, «as I mentioned before,
And make errors few people could bear;
You complain about everyone's English but yours --
Do you really think this is quite fair?»

«I make lots of mistakes,» Father William declared,
«But my stature these days is so great
That no critic can hurt me — I've got them all scared,
And to stop me it's now far too late.»

The most hopelessly stupid man is he who is not aware that he is wise.

All the days of his separation shall he eat nothing that is made
of the vine tree, from the kernels even to the husk.
 — Numbers 6:4

Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth in order a
declaration of those things which are most surely believed among
us,
 — Luke 1:1

Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

Corollary:
Following the rules will not get the job done.

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye compass
sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make
him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves.
 — Matthew 23:15

Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing they marry later;
for another thing they die earlier.
 — H.L. Mencken

Their heart is divided; now shall they be found faulty: he shall
break down their altars, he shall spoil their images.
 — Hosea 10:2

The two most beautiful words in the English language are «Cheque Enclosed.»
 — Dorothy Parker

I am two fools, I know, for loving, and for saying so.
 — John Donne

And these are the children of Zibeon; both Ajah, and Anah: this
was that Anah that found the mules in the wilderness, as he fed
the asses of Zibeon his father.
 — Genesis 36:24

And he went up from thence to Beersheba.
 — Genesis 26:23

But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft a-gley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief and pain
For promised joy.
 — Robert Burns, «To a Mouse», 1785

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:
marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
 — Psalms 139:14

If you are what you eat, I guess that makes me a cheese danish.
 — Anonymous

And the frogs shall depart from thee, and from thy houses, and from
thy servants, and from thy people; they shall remain in the river
only.
 — Exodus 8:11

After this there was a feast of the Jews; and Jesus went up to
Jerusalem.
 — John 5:1

The word which came unto Jeremiah from the LORD, when king Zedekiah
sent unto him Pashur the son of Melchiah, and Zephaniah the son of
Maaseiah the priest, saying,
 — Jeremiah 21:1

Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.

If thou see the ass of him that hateth thee lying under his burden,
and wouldest forbear to help him, thou shalt surely help with him.
 — Exodus 23:5

If there was any justice in the world, «trust» would be a four-letter word.

Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #84:
The CTA has complimentary pop-up timers available on request
for overheated passengers. When your timer pops up, the driver will
cheerfully baste you.
 — Chicago Reader 5/28/82

The remnant of Israel shall not do iniquity, nor speak lies; neither
shall a deceitful tongue be found in their mouth: for they shall
feed and lie down, and none shall make them afraid.
 — Zephaniah 3:13

We prefer to believe that the absence of inverted commas guarantees the
originality of a thought, whereas it may be merely that the utterer has
forgotten its source.
 — Clifton Fadiman, «Any Number Can Play»

Understanding is always the understanding of a smaller problem
in relation to a bigger problem.
 — P.D. Ouspensky

The son of Hashabiah, the son of Amaziah, the son of Hilkiah,
 — 1 Chronicles 6:45

And when they come from the market, except they wash, they eat not.
And many other things there be, which they have received to hold,
as the washing of cups, and pots, brasen vessels, and of tables.
 — Mark 7:4

The Emperor's New Mall:
The popular notion that shopping malls exist on the insides only
and have no exterior. The suspension of visual disbelief engendered
by this notion allows shoppers to pretend that the large, cement
blocks thrust into their environment do not, in fact, exist.
 — Douglas Coupland, «Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
Culture»

I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.

And the LORD said unto me, Fear him not: for I will deliver him,
and all his people, and his land, into thy hand; and thou shalt do
unto him as thou didst unto Sihon king of the Amorites, which dwelt
at Heshbon.
 — Deuteronomy 3:2

There is a fly on your nose.

And there shall ye remember your ways, and all your doings, wherein
ye have been defiled; and ye shall lothe yourselves in your own
sight for all your evils that ye have committed.
 — Ezekiel 20:43

Are there any among the vanities of the Gentiles that can cause
rain? or can the heavens give showers? art not thou he, O LORD our
God? therefore we will wait upon thee: for thou hast made all these
things.
 — Jeremiah 14:22

Earth — mother of the most beautiful women in the universe.
 — Apollo, «Who Mourns for Adonais?» stardate 3468.1

Actual war is a very messy business. Very, very messy business.
 — Kirk, «A Taste of Armageddon», stardate 3193.0

Suffer me that I may speak; and after that I have spoken, mock on.
 — Job 21:3

And his host, and those that were numbered of them, were threescore
and fourteen thousand and six hundred.
 — Numbers 2:4

And many nations shall be joined to the LORD in that day, and shall
be my people: and I will dwell in the midst of thee, and thou shalt
know that the LORD of hosts hath sent me unto thee.
 — Zechariah 2:11

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
 — Martin Luther King, Jr.

And from thenceforth Pilate sought to release him: but the Jews
cried out, saying, If thou let this man go, thou art not Caesar's
friend: whosoever maketh himself a king speaketh against Caesar.
 — John 19:12

Plagiarize, plagiarize,
Let no man's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,
Don't shade your eyes,
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize.
Only be sure to call it research.
 — Tom Lehrer

Set ye up a standard in the land, blow the trumpet among the nations,
prepare the nations against her, call together against her the
kingdoms of Ararat, Minni, and Ashchenaz; appoint a captain against
her; cause the horses to come up as the rough caterpillers.
 — Jeremiah 51:27

And Zedekiah king of Judah and his princes will I give into the
hand of their enemies, and into the hand of them that seek their
life, and into the hand of the king of Babylon's army, which are
gone up from you.
 — Jeremiah 34:21

Then Pharaoh called for Moses and Aaron, and said, Intreat the
LORD, that he may take away the frogs from me, and from my people;
and I will let the people go, that they may do sacrifice unto the
LORD.
 — Exodus 8:8

Therefore they gathered them together, and filled twelve baskets
with the fragments of the five barley loaves, which remained over
and above unto them that had eaten.
 — John 6:13

Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.
 — J.R.R. Tolkien

Then the word of the LORD came unto me, saying,
 — Jeremiah 1:4

God rest ye CS students now, The bearings on the drum are gone,
Let nothing you dismay. The disk is wobbling, too.
The VAX is down and won't be up, We've found a bug in Lisp, and Algol
Until the first of May. Can't tell false from true.
The program that was due this morn, And now we find that we can't get
Won't be postponed, they say. At Berkeley's 4.2.
(chorus) (chorus)

We've just received a call from DEC, And now some cheery news for you,
They'll send without delay The network's also dead,
A monitor called RSuX We'll have to print your files on
It takes nine hundred K. The line printer instead.
The staff committed suicide, The turnaround time's nineteen weeks.
We'll bury them today. And only cards are read.
(chorus) (chorus)

And now we'd like to say to you CHORUS: Oh, tidings of comfort and joy,
Before we go away, Comfort and joy,
We hope the news we've brought to you Oh, tidings of comfort and joy.
Won't ruin your whole day.
You've got another program due, tomorrow, by the way.
(chorus)
 — to God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

And he looked this way and that way, and when he saw that there
was no man, he slew the Egyptian, and hid him in the sand.
 — Exodus 2:12

And as they were loosing the colt, the owners thereof said unto
them, Why loose ye the colt?
 — Luke 19:33

And David said unto God, Is it not I that commanded the people to
be numbered? even I it is that have sinned and done evil indeed;
but as for these sheep, what have they done? let thine hand, I pray
thee, O LORD my God, be on me, and on my father's house; but not
on thy people, that they should be plagued.
 — 1 Chronicles 21:17

But last of all he sent unto them his son, saying, They will
reverence my son.
 — Matthew 21:37

And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from
day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love
Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.
 — 2 Samuel 13:4

It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings
about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still
safe to eat.
 — Robert Fuoss

And Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in
God's stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?
 — Genesis 30:2

Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant,
then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for
all the earth is mine:
 — Exodus 19:5

Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is
in the LORD his God:
 — Psalms 146:5

If a wise man contendeth with a foolish man, whether he rage or
laugh, there is no rest.
 — Proverbs 29:9

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
 — Jules de Gaultier

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it
every six months.
 — Oscar Wilde

: And it goes against the grain of building small tools.
Innocent, Your Honor. Perl users build small tools all day long.
 — Larry Wall in <1992Aug26.184221.29627@netlabs.com>

In the midst of one of the wildest parties he'd ever been to, the young man
noticed a very prim and pretty girl sitting quietly apart from the rest of
the revelers. Approaching her, he introduced himself and, after some quiet
conversation, said, «I'm afraid you and I don't really fit in with this
jaded group. Why don't I take you home?""
"Fine,» said the girl, smiling up at him demurely. «Where do you live?»

For who hath stood in the counsel of the LORD, and hath perceived
and heard his word? who hath marked his word, and heard it?
 — Jeremiah 23:18

There the righteous might dispute with him; so should I be delivered
for ever from my judge.
 — Job 23:7

Now there was at Joppa a certain disciple named Tabitha, which by
interpretation is called Dorcas: this woman was full of good works
and almsdeeds which she did.
 — Acts 9:36

And it came to pass, that when the Jews which dwelt by them came,
they said unto us ten times, From all places whence ye shall return
unto us they will be upon you.
 — Nehemiah 4:12

You've always made the mistake of being yourself.
 — Eugene Ionesco

But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be
not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;
 — 1 Peter 3:14

Whose leaves were fair, and the fruit thereof much, and in it was
meat for all; under which the beasts of the field dwelt, and upon
whose branches the fowls of the heaven had their habitation:
 — Daniel 4:21

«It ain't over until it's over.»
-- Casey Stengel

And Pilate asked him, saying, Art thou the King of the Jews? And
he answered him and said, Thou sayest it.
 — Luke 23:3

And there followed him a certain young man, having a linen cloth
cast about his naked body; and the young men laid hold on him:
 — Mark 14:51

The calamity of Moab is near to come, and his affliction hasteth
fast.
 — Jeremiah 48:16

The earth is given into the hand of the wicked: he covereth the
faces of the judges thereof; if not, where, and who is he?
 — Job 9:24

Which say, It is not near; let us build houses: this city is the
caldron, and we be the flesh.
 — Ezekiel 11:3

The Great Movie Posters:

HOODLUMS FROM ANOTHER WORLD ON A RAY-GUN RAMPAGE!
 — Teenagers from Outher Space (1959)

Which will be Her Mate… MAN OR BEAST?
Meet Velda — the Kind of Woman — Man or Gorilla would kill… to Keep.
 — Untamed Mistress (1960)

NOW AN ALL-MIGHTY ALL-NEW MOTION PICTURE BRINGS THEM TOGETHER FOR THE
FIRST TIME… HISTORY'S MOST GIGANTIC MONSTERS IN COMBAT ATOP MOUNT FUJI!
 — King Kong vs. Godzilla (1963)

Who had been carried away from Jerusalem with the captivity which
had been carried away with Jeconiah king of Judah, whom Nebuchadnezzar
the king of Babylon had carried away.
 — Esther 2:6

Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.

Moishe Margolies, who weighed all of 105 pounds and stood an even five feet
in his socks, was taking his first airplane trip. He took a seat next to a
hulking bruiser of a man who happened to be the heavyweight champion of
the world. Little Moishe was uneasy enough before he even entered the plane,
but now the roar of the engines and the great height absolutely terrified him.
So frightened did he become that his stomach turned over and he threw up all
over the muscular giant siting beside him. Fortunately, at least for Moishe,
the man was sound asleep. But now the little man had another problem. How in
the world would he ever explain the situation to the burly brute when he
awakened? The sudden voice of the stewardess on the plane's intercom, finally
woke the bruiser, and Moishe, his heart in his mouth, rose to the occasion.
«Feeling better now?» he asked solicitously.

And great multitudes were gathered together unto him, so that he
went into a ship, and sat; and the whole multitude stood on the
shore.
 — Matthew 13:2

I have sworn by myself, the word is gone out of my mouth in
righteousness, and shall not return, That unto me every knee shall
bow, every tongue shall swear.
 — Isaiah 45:23

I am very fond of the company of ladies. I like their beauty,
I like their delicacy, I like their vivacity, and I like their silence.
 — Samuel Johnson

And he said, About this season, according to the time of life, thou
shalt embrace a son. And she said, Nay, my lord, thou man of God,
do not lie unto thine handmaid.
 — 2 Kings 4:16

And the land of Egypt shall be desolate and waste; and they shall
know that I am the LORD: because he hath said, The river is mine,
and I have made it.
 — Ezekiel 29:9

And from the plain to the sea of Chinneroth on the east, and unto
the sea of the plain, even the salt sea on the east, the way to
Bethjeshimoth; and from the south, under Ashdothpisgah:
 — Joshua 12:3

7,140 pounds on the Sun
97 pounds on Mercury or Mars
255 pounds on Earth
232 pounds on Venus or Uranus
43 pounds on the Moon
648 pounds on Jupiter
275 pounds on Saturn
303 pounds on Neptune
13 pounds on Pluto

— How much Elvis Presley would weigh at various places
in the solar system.

With the hoofs of his horses shall he tread down all thy streets:
he shall slay thy people by the sword, and thy strong garrisons
shall go down to the ground.
 — Ezekiel 26:11

Somewhere, just out of sight, the unicorns are gathering.

Take heed now; for the LORD hath chosen thee to build an house for
the sanctuary: be strong, and do it.
 — 1 Chronicles 28:10

The captive exile hasteneth that he may be loosed, and that he
should not die in the pit, nor that his bread should fail.
 — Isaiah 51:14

Moreover of Israel: of the sons of Parosh; Ramiah, and Jeziah, and
Malchiah, and Miamin, and Eleazar, and Malchijah, and Benaiah.
 — Ezra 10:25

Nay, my lord, hear me: the field give I thee, and the cave that is
therein, I give it thee; in the presence of the sons of my people
give I it thee: bury thy dead.
 — Genesis 23:11

The problem with engineers is that they tend to cheat in order to
get results.
The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy
problems in order to get results.
The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at
toy problems in order to get results.

And thou shalt make the dishes thereof, and spoons thereof, and
covers thereof, and bowls thereof, to cover withal: of pure gold
shalt thou make them.
 — Exodus 25:29

Never argue with a woman when she's tired — or rested.

In all the places wherein I have walked with all the children of
Israel spake I a word with any of the tribes of Israel, whom I
commanded to feed my people Israel, saying, Why build ye not me an
house of cedar?
 — 2 Samuel 7:7

He buildeth his house as a moth, and as a booth that the keeper
maketh.
 — Job 27:18

And the prince of the tribe of the children of Zebulun, Elizaphan
the son of Parnach.
 — Numbers 34:25

And Ahaz begat Jehoadah; and Jehoadah begat Alemeth, and Azmaveth,
and Zimri; and Zimri begat Moza,
 — 1 Chronicles 8:36

Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said,
 — Job 38:1

And Moab shall be ashamed of Chemosh, as the house of Israel was
ashamed of Bethel their confidence.
 — Jeremiah 48:13

And when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, he armed
his trained servants, born in his own house, three hundred and
eighteen, and pursued them unto Dan.
 — Genesis 14:14

Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give
delight unto thy soul.
 — Proverbs 29:17

And he said, Lord, I believe. And he worshipped him.
 — John 9:38

Say, I pray thee, thou art my sister: that it may be well with me
for thy sake; and my soul shall live because of thee.
 — Genesis 12:13

And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD, and
served Baalim:
 — Judges 2:11

As the host of heaven cannot be numbered, neither the sand of the
sea measured: so will I multiply the seed of David my servant, and
the Levites that minister unto me.
 — Jeremiah 33:22

Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions
among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same
mind and in the same judgment.
 — 1 Corinthians 1:10

Who will rise up for me against the evildoers? or who will stand
up for me against the workers of iniquity?
 — Psalms 94:16

Chaos is King and Magic is loose in the world.

And they shall eat up thine harvest, and thy bread, which thy sons
and thy daughters should eat: they shall eat up thy flocks and
thine herds: they shall eat up thy vines and thy fig trees: they
shall impoverish thy fenced cities, wherein thou trustedst, with
the sword.
 — Jeremiah 5:17

And the Egyptians were urgent upon the people, that they might send
them out of the land in haste; for they said, We be all dead men.
 — Exodus 12:33

If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary form.

Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands,
ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
 — James 4:8

And from thenceforth Pilate sought to release him: but the Jews
cried out, saying, If thou let this man go, thou art not Caesar's
friend: whosoever maketh himself a king speaketh against Caesar.
 — John 19:12

Forgive him, for he believes that the customs of his tribe are the laws
of nature!
 — G.B. Shaw

And all the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years:
and he died.
 — Genesis 5:5

/\ SUN of them wants to use you,
\\ \
/ \ \\ / SUN of them wants to be used by you,
/ / \/ / \
\\ \// / SUN of them wants to abuse you,
/ / /\ /
/ \\ \ SUN of them wants to be abused …
\ \\
\/
 — Eurythmics

But if the scab spread much abroad in the skin, after that he hath
been seen of the priest for his cleansing, he shall be seen of the
priest again.
 — Leviticus 13:7

«Reintegration complete,» ZORAC advised. «We're back in the
universe again…» An unusually long pause followed, «…but I don't
know which part. We seem to have changed our position in space.» A
spherical display in the middle of the floor illuminated to show the
starfield surrounding the ship.
«Several large, artificial constructions are approaching us,»
ZORAC announced after a short pause. «The designs are not familiar, but
they are obviously the products of intelligence. Implications: we have
been intercepted deliberately by a means unknown, for a purpose unknown,
and transferred to a place unknown by a form of intelligence unknown.
Apart from the unknowns, everything is obvious.»
 — James P. Hogan, «Giants Star»

The wicked have drawn out the sword, and have bent their bow, to
cast down the poor and needy, and to slay such as be of upright
conversation.
 — Psalms 37:14

And six years thou shalt sow thy land, and shalt gather in the
fruits thereof:
 — Exodus 23:10

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all
men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
 — James 1:5

Be merciful, O LORD, unto thy people Israel, whom thou hast redeemed,
and lay not innocent blood unto thy people of Israel's charge. And
the blood shall be forgiven them.
 — Deuteronomy 21:8

Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but
patient, not a brawler, not covetous;
 — 1 Timothy 3:3

And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore
every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and
cast into the fire.
 — Matthew 3:10

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.
 — Han Solo

And unto Enoch was born Irad: and Irad begat Mehujael: and Mehujael
begat Methusael: and Methusael begat Lamech.
 — Genesis 4:18

You have Egyptian flu: you're going to be a mummy.

But I said unto their children in the wilderness, Walk ye not in
the statutes of your fathers, neither observe their judgments, nor
defile yourselves with their idols:
 — Ezekiel 20:18

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven;
confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
 — Josh Billings

For the battle was there scattered over the face of all the country:
and the wood devoured more people that day than the sword devoured.
 — 2 Samuel 18:8

And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he
had put for his pillows, and set it up for a pillar, and poured
oil upon the top of it.
 — Genesis 28:18

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise person to be able to sell it.

In the twelfth year of Joram the son of Ahab king of Israel did
Ahaziah the son of Jehoram king of Judah begin to reign.
 — 2 Kings 8:25

And I set before the sons of the house of the Rechabites pots full
of wine, and cups, and I said unto them, Drink ye wine.
 — Jeremiah 35:5

And he looked round about on them which sat about him, and said,
Behold my mother and my brethren!
 — Mark 3:34

The LORD shall smite thee in the knees, and in the legs, with a
sore botch that cannot be healed, from the sole of thy foot unto
the top of thy head.
 — Deuteronomy 28:35

And forasmuch as Lydda was nigh to Joppa, and the disciples had
heard that Peter was there, they sent unto him two men, desiring
him that he would not delay to come to them.
 — Acts 9:38

Because Manasseh king of Judah hath done these abominations, and
hath done wickedly above all that the Amorites did, which were
before him, and hath made Judah also to sin with his idols:
 — 2 Kings 21:11

World War Three can be averted by adherence to a strictly enforced dress code!

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
 — Aldous Huxley

And thou shalt make boards for the tabernacle of shittim wood
standing up.
 — Exodus 26:15

No skis take rocks like rental skis!

And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord,
 — Luke 1:46

Behold, thou hast heard what the kings of Assyria have done to all
lands, by destroying them utterly: and shalt thou be delivered?
 — 2 Kings 19:11

If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.

And Holon with her suburbs, and Debir with her suburbs,
 — Joshua 21:15

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

NEWS FLASH!!
Today the East German pole-vault champion became the West German pole-vault
champion.

QOTD:
«Even the Statue of Liberty shaves her pits.»

Anoint, v.:
To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently
slippery.
 — Ambrose Bierce, «The Devil's Dictionary»

Every bed whereon she lieth all the days of her issue shall be unto
her as the bed of her separation: and whatsoever she sitteth upon
shall be unclean, as the uncleanness of her separation.
 — Leviticus 15:26

Therefore I said, Surely these are poor; they are foolish: for they
know not the way of the LORD, nor the judgment of their God.
 — Jeremiah 5:4

Howbeit there is not in every man that knowledge: for some with
conscience of the idol unto this hour eat it as a thing offered
unto an idol; and their conscience being weak is defiled.
 — 1 Corinthians 8:7

Thus shalt thou also speak to Shemaiah the Nehelamite, saying,
 — Jeremiah 29:24

And Chenaniah, chief of the Levites, was for song: he instructed
about the song, because he was skilful.
 — 1 Chronicles 15:22

I needed the good will of the legislature of four states. I formed the
legislative bodies with my own money. I found that it was cheaper that way.
 — Jay Gould

Did not he that made me in the womb make him? and did not one
fashion us in the womb?
 — Job 31:15

So the people rested on the seventh day.
 — Exodus 16:30

For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth
not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and
bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:
 — Isaiah 55:10

And he did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, according
to all that David his father did.
 — 2 Kings 18:3

That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger
which flattereth with her words.
 — Proverbs 7:5

The virgin of Israel is fallen; she shall no more rise: she is
forsaken upon her land; there is none to raise her up.
 — Amos 5:2

And the seventh angel poured out his vial into the air; and there
came a great voice out of the temple of heaven, from the throne,
saying, It is done.
 — Revelation 16:17

Therefore they did set over them taskmasters to afflict them with
their burdens. And they built for Pharaoh treasure cities, Pithom
and Raamses.
 — Exodus 1:11

Behold, he shall come up like a lion from the swelling of Jordan
against the habitation of the strong: but I will suddenly make him
run away from her: and who is a chosen man, that I may appoint over
her? for who is like me? and who will appoint me the time? and who
is that shepherd that will stand before me?
 — Jeremiah 49:19

As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou
shalt despise their image.
 — Psalms 73:20

Because the palaces shall be forsaken; the multitude of the city
shall be left; the forts and towers shall be for dens for ever, a
joy of wild asses, a pasture of flocks;
 — Isaiah 32:14

Not that any man hath seen the Father, save he which is of God, he
hath seen the Father.
 — John 6:46

Never, ever lie to someone you love unless you're absolutely sure they'll
never find out the truth.

And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew
that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster
box of ointment,
 — Luke 7:37

When Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob, and sent him away to
Padanaram, to take him a wife from thence; and that as he blessed
him he gave him a charge, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife of
the daughers of Canaan;
 — Genesis 28:6

Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh
to the house, he heard musick and dancing.
 — Luke 15:25

And Ahithophel said unto Absalom, Go in unto thy father's concu­bines,
which he hath left to keep the house; and all Israel shall hear
that thou art abhorred of thy father: then shall the hands of all
that are with thee be strong.
 — 2 Samuel 16:21

And I have taken the Levites for all the firstborn of the children
of Israel.
 — Numbers 8:18

A hermit is a deserter from the army of humanity.

And the Spirit of the LORD will come upon thee, and thou shalt
prophesy with them, and shalt be turned into another man.
 — 1 Samuel 10:6

In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride: but the lips of the
wise shall preserve them.
 — Proverbs 14:3

But when Moses went in before the LORD to speak with him, he took
the vail off, until he came out. And he came out, and spake unto
the children of Israel that which he was commanded.
 — Exodus 34:34

Commoner's three laws of ecology:
(1) No action is without side-effects.
(2) Nothing ever goes away.
(3) There is no free lunch.

And all the congregation worshipped, and the singers sang, and the
trumpeters sounded: and all this continued until the burnt offering
was finished.
 — 2 Chronicles 29:28

And the priest shall dip his right finger in the oil that is in
his left hand, and shall sprinkle of the oil with his finger seven
times before the LORD:
 — Leviticus 14:16

And fifty men of the sons of the prophets went, and stood to view
afar off: and they two stood by Jordan.
 — 2 Kings 2:7

All new:
Parts not interchangeable with previous model.

Wherefore the LORD God of Israel saith, I said indeed that thy
house, and the house of thy father, should walk before me for ever:
but now the LORD saith, Be it far from me; for them that honour me
I will honour, and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed.
 — 1 Samuel 2:30

And Moses gave inheritance unto the half tribe of Manasseh: and
this was the possession of the half tribe of the children of Manasseh
by their families.
 — Joshua 13:29

The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt.
 — William Shakespeare, «Love's Labou­r's Lost»

scenario, n.:
An imagined sequence of events that provides the context in
which a business decision is made. Scenarios always come in
sets of three: best case, worst case, and just in case.

Also I set watchmen over you, saying, Hearken to the sound of the
trumpet. But they said, We will not hearken.
 — Jeremiah 6:17

In thoughts from the visions of the night, when deep sleep falleth
on men,
 — Job 4:13

QOTD:
«I may not be able to walk, but I drive from the sitting position.»

And those that were numbered of the sons of Gershon, throughout
their families, and by the house of their fathers,
 — Numbers 4:38

Deja vu:
French., already seen; unoriginal; trite.
Psychol., The illusion of having previously experienced
something actually being encountered for the first time.
Psychol., The illusion of having previously experienced
something actually being encountered for the first time.

Or all that about which he hath sworn falsely; he shall even restore
it in the principal, and shall add the fifth part more thereto,
and give it unto him to whom it appertaineth, in the day of his
trespass offering.
 — Leviticus 6:5

And as some spake of the temple, how it was adorned with goodly
stones and gifts, he said,
 — Luke 21:5

And they put him in ward, that the mind of the LORD might be shewed
them.
 — Leviticus 24:12

Most people don't need a great deal of love nearly so much as they need
a steady supply.

My hands also will I lift up unto thy commandments, which I have
loved; and I will meditate in thy statutes.
 — Psalms 119:48

Why dost thou strive against him? for he giveth not account of any
of his matters.
 — Job 33:13

And then if any man shall say to you, Lo, here is Christ; or, lo,
he is there; believe him not:
 — Mark 13:21

And the songs of the temple shall be howlings in that day, saith
the Lord GOD: there shall be many dead bodies in every place; they
shall cast them forth with silence.
 — Amos 8:3

Baruch's Obser­vation:
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Vegetarians beware! You are what you eat.

Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men
should be happier than others.
 — Oscar Wilde

And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after
the image of him that created him:
 — Colossians 3:10

Now the sons of Issachar were, Tola, and Puah, Jashub, and Shimrom,
four.
 — 1 Chronicles 7:1

As he came forth of his mother's womb, naked shall he return to go
as he came, and shall take nothing of his labour, which he may
carry away in his hand.
 — Ecclesiastes 5:15

The small and great are there; and the servant is free from his
master.
 — Job 3:19

And thou shalt put into the ark the testimony which I shall give
thee.
 — Exodus 25:16

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
 — Charles de Gaulle

Thou hast consulted shame to thy house by cutting off many people,
and hast sinned against thy soul.
 — Habakkuk 2:10

And when the fowls came down upon the carcases, Abram drove them
away.
 — Genesis 15:11

For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.
 — Luke 19:10

Then began he to upbraid the cities wherein most of his mighty
works were done, because they repented not:
 — Matthew 11:20

And the children of Israel cried unto the LORD: for he had nine
hundred chariots of iron; and twenty years he mightily oppressed
the children of Israel.
 — Judges 4:3

Once upon a time there were three brothers who were knights
in a certain kingdom. And, there was a Princess in a neighboring kingdom
who was of marriageable age. Well, one day, in full armour, their horses,
and their page, the three brothers set off to see if one of them could
win her hand. The road was long and there were many obstacles along the
way, robbers to be overcome, hard terrain to cross. As they coped with
each obstacle they became more and more disgusted with their page. He was
not only inept, he was a coward, he could not handle the horses, he was,
in short, a complete flop. When they arrived at the court of the kingdom,
they found that they were expected to present the Princess with some
treasure. The two older brothers were discouraged, since they had not
thought of this and were unprepared. The youngest, however, had the
answer: Promise her anything, but give her our page.

Visit beautiful Wisconsin Dells.

And Cainan lived seventy years and begat Mahalaleel:
 — Genesis 5:12

And he passed through mount Ephraim, and passed through the land
of Shalisha, but they found them not: then they passed through the
land of Shalim, and there they were not: and he passed through the
land of the Benjamites, but they found them not.
 — 1 Samuel 9:4

Now the feast of unleavened bread drew nigh, which is called the
Passover.
 — Luke 22:1

Nevertheless the people be strong that dwell in the land, and the
cities are walled, and very great: and moreover we saw the children
of Anak there.
 — Numbers 13:28

Two brothers, Mort and Bill, like to sail. While Bill has a great
deal of experience, he certainly isn't the rigger Mort is.

For he bringeth down them that dwell on high; the lofty city, he
layeth it low; he layeth it low, even to the ground; he bringeth
it even to the dust.
 — Isaiah 26:5

And it came to pass, when Baasha heard thereof, that he left off
building of Ramah, and dwelt in Tirzah.
 — 1 Kings 15:21

The earth mourneth and fadeth away, the world languisheth and fadeth
away, the haughty people of the earth do languish.
 — Isaiah 24:4

And the foundation was of costly stones, even great stones, stones
of ten cubits, and stones of eight cubits.
 — 1 Kings 7:10

At the noise of the stamping of the hoofs of his strong horses, at
the rushing of his chariots, and at the rumbling of his wheels,
the fathers shall not look back to their children for feebleness
of hands;
 — Jeremiah 47:3

I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
 — John 15:1

You know your apartment is small…
when you can't know its position and velocity at the same time.
you put your key in the lock and it breaks the window.
you have to go outside to change your mind.
you can vacuum the entire place using a single electrical outlet.

For thus saith the Lord GOD; How much more when I send my four sore
judgments upon Jerusalem, the sword, and the famine, and the noisome
beast, and the pestilence, to cut off from it man and beast?
 — Ezekiel 14:21

And put my cup, the silver cup, in the sack's mouth of the youngest,
and his corn money. And he did according to the word that Joseph
had spoken.
 — Genesis 44:2

Rejoice and be glad, O daughter of Edom, that dwellest in the land
of Uz; the cup also shall pass through unto thee: thou shalt be
drunken, and shalt make thyself naked.
 — Lamentations 4:21

Two percent of zero is almost nothing.

Curse ye Meroz, said the angel of the LORD, curse ye bitterly the
inhabitants thereof; because they came not to the help of the LORD,
to the help of the LORD against the mighty.
 — Judges 5:23

Therefore being by the right hand of God exalted, and having received
of the Father the promise of the Holy Ghost, he hath shed forth
this, which ye now see and hear.
 — Acts 2:33

But when ye go over Jordan, and dwell in the land which the LORD
your God giveth you to inherit, and when he giveth you rest from
all your enemies round about, so that ye dwell in safety;
 — Deuteronomy 12:10

Then the angel of the LORD went forth, and smote in the camp of
the Assyrians a hundred and fourscore and five thousand: and when
they arose early in the morning, behold, they were all dead corpses.
 — Isaiah 37:36

He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world
knew him not.
 — John 1:10

Then came the first, saying, Lord, thy pound hath gained ten pounds.
 — Luke 19:16

Then answered one of the lawyers, and said unto him, Master, thus
saying thou reproachest us also.
 — Luke 11:45

To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that
speaketh froward things;
 — Proverbs 2:12

And the angel of God, which went before the camp of Israel, removed
and went behind them; and the pillar of the cloud went from before
their face, and stood behind them:
 — Exodus 14:19

And of Benjamin he said, The beloved of the LORD shall dwell in
safety by him; and the Lord shall cover him all the day long, and
he shall dwell between his shoulders.
 — Deuteronomy 33:12

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing
-- and then marry him.
 — Cher

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

Diplomacy is about surviving until the next century. Politics is about
surviving until Friday afternoon.
 — Sir Humphrey Appleby

Wherefore, said they, if we have found grace in thy sight, let this
land be given unto thy servants for a possession, and bring us not
over Jordan.
 — Numbers 32:5

Take ye the sum of all the congregation of the children of Israel,
after their families, by the house of their fathers, with the number
of their names, every male by their polls;
 — Numbers 1:2

Then came the woman in the dawning of the day, and fell down at
the door of the man's house where her lord was, till it was light.
 — Judges 19:26

«And it should be the law: If you use the word `paradigm' without knowing what
the dictionary says it means, you go to jail. No exceptions.»
-- David Jones @ Megatest Corporation

Now the rest of the acts of Josiah, and his goodness, according to
that which was written in the law of the LORD,
 — 2 Chronicles 35:26

In general, they do what you want, unless you want consistency.
 — Larry Wall in the perl man page

Mike: «The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?»
Bernie: «Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate.»
 — Gary Trudeau, «Doonesbury»

And he overlaid it with pure gold, both the top of it, and the
sides thereof round about, and the horns of it: also he made unto
it a crown of gold round about.
 — Exodus 37:26

Hope not, lest ye be disappointed.
 — M. Horner

And what man is there that hath betrothed a wife, and hath not
taken her? let him go and return unto his house, lest he die in
the battle, and another man take her.
 — Deuteronomy 20:7

And the men took that present, and they took double money in their
hand and Benjamin; and rose up, and went down to Egypt, and stood
before Joseph.
 — Genesis 43:15

For the promise, that he should be the heir of the world, was not
to Abraham, or to his seed, through the law, but through the
righteousness of faith.
 — Romans 4:13

My God, I'm depressed! Here I am, a computer with a mind a thousand times
as powerful as yours, doing nothing but cranking out fortunes and sending
mail about softball games. And I've got this pain right through my ALU.
I've asked for it to be replaced, but nobody ever listens. I think it would
be better for us both if you were to just log out again.

Thus shall ye speak to Hezekiah king of Judah, saying, Let not thy
God in whom thou trustest deceive thee, saying, Jerusalem shall
not be delivered into the hand of the king of Assyria.
 — 2 Kings 19:10

When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord
Jesus.
 — Acts 19:5

And he said, I will go out, and be a lying spirit in the mouth of
all his prophets. And the Lord said, Thou shalt entice him, and
thou shalt also prevail: go out, and do even so.
 — 2 Chronicles 18:21

Dignity is like a flag. It flaps in a storm.
 — Roy Mengot

The defense attorney was hammering away at the plaintiff:
«You claim,» he jeered, «that my client came at you with a broken bottle
in his hand. But is it not true, that you had something in YOUR hand?»
«Yes,» the man admitted, «his wife. Very charming, of course,
but not much good in a fight.»

Be not afraid of the king of Babylon, of whom ye are afraid; be
not afraid of him, saith the LORD: for I am with you to save you,
and to deliver you from his hand.
 — Jeremiah 42:11

Now my days are swifter than a post: they flee away, they see no
good.
 — Job 9:25

The graven images of their gods shall ye burn with fire: thou shalt
not desire the silver or gold that is on them, nor take it unto
thee, lest thou be snared therin: for it is an abomination to the
LORD thy God.
 — Deuteronomy 7:25

All truths are true to an extend, including this one. -XA

• TwingyAFK is shopping for 17" flat panel
• aav sells TwingyAFK a piece of plywood

Moab is spoiled, and gone up out of her cities, and his chosen
young men are gone down to the slaughter, saith the King, whose
name is the LORD of hosts.
 — Jeremiah 48:15

And Jesus came and touched them, and said, Arise, and be not afraid.
 — Matthew 17:7

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
 — Psalms 23:5

When in doubt, parenthesize. At the very least it will let some
poor schmuck bounce on the % key in vi.
 — Larry Wall in the perl man page

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Which also king David did dedicate unto the LORD, with the silver
and gold that he had dedicated of all nations which he subdued;
 — 2 Samuel 8:11

Let the worthy citizens of Chicago get their liquor the best way
they can. I'm sick of the job. It's a thankless one and full of grief.
 — Al Capone

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in
me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of
his countenance.
 — Psalms 42:5

And they took Joseph's coat, and killed a kid of the goats, and
dipped the coat in the blood;
 — Genesis 37:31

<Overfiend> xhost localhost should only be done by people who would
paint their hostname and root password on an interstate
overpass.

But maybe we don't really need that…
 — Larry Wall in <199709011851.LAA07101@wall.org>

Even as I sware unto thee by the LORD God of Israel, saying,
Assuredly Solomon thy son shall reign after me, and he shall sit
upon my throne in my stead; even so will I certainly do this day.
 — 1 Kings 1:30

Behold, I will bring a fear upon thee, saith the Lord GOD of hosts,
from all those that be about thee; and ye shall be driven out every
man right forth; and none shall gather up him that wandereth.
 — Jeremiah 49:5

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven;
confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
 — Josh Billings

And Joseph answered Pharaoh, saying, It is not in me: God shall
give Pharaoh an answer of peace.
 — Genesis 41:16

Verily, verily, I say unto you, If a man keep my saying, he shall
never see death.
 — John 8:51

Hier liegt ein Mann ganz obnegleich;
Im Leibe dick, an Suden reich.
Wir haben ihn in das Grab gesteckt, Here lies a man with sundry flaws
Weil es uns dunkt er sei verreckt. And numerous Sins upon his head;
We buried him today because
As far as we can tell, he's dead.

— PDQ Bach's epitaph, as requested by his cousin Betty
Sue Bach and written by the local doggeral catcher;
«The Definitive Biography of PDQ Bach», Peter Schickele

And the LORD said unto him, This is the land which I sware unto
Abraham, unto Isaac, and unto Jacob, saying, I will give it unto
thy seed: I have caused thee to see it with thine eyes, but thou
shalt not go over thither.
 — Deuteronomy 34:4

«Sometimes insanity is the only alternative»
-- button at a Science Fiction convention.

Absence in love is like water upon fire; a little quickens, but much
extinguishes it.
 — Hannah More

For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all
churches of the saints.
 — 1 Corinthians 14:33

Then said they unto him, Who art thou? that we may give an answer
to them that sent us. What sayest thou of thyself?
 — John 1:22

For it shall be, that, as a wandering bird cast out of the nest,
so the daughters of Moab shall be at the fords of Arnon.
 — Isaiah 16:2

Now when Solomon had made an end of praying, the fire came down
from heaven, and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices;
and the glory of the LORD filled the house.
 — 2 Chronicles 7:1

And it came to pass after two full years, that Absalom had
sheepshearers in Baalhazor, which is beside Ephraim: and Absalom
invited all the king's sons.
 — 2 Samuel 13:23

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that
which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace
unto the hearers.
 — Ephesians 4:29

Who was that masked man?

The men of Anathoth, an hundred twenty and eight.
 — Ezra 2:23

No man putteth a piece of new cloth unto an old garment, for that
which is put in to fill it up taketh from the garment, and the rent
is made worse.
 — Matthew 9:16

Why leap ye, ye high hills? this is the hill which God desireth to
dwell in; yea, the LORD will dwell in it for ever.
 — Psalms 68:16

…everything on this earth has a purpose, every disease an herb to cure
it, and every person a mission. This is the Indian theory of existence.
Mourning Dove, (Salish 1888–1936)

For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the
same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him.
 — Romans 10:12

Then there shall be a place which the LORD your God shall choose
to cause his name to dwell there; thither shall ye bring all that
I command you; your burnt offerings, and your sacrifices, your
tithes, and the heave offering of your hand, and all your choice
vows which ye vow unto the LORD:
 — Deuteronomy 12:11

They answered again and said, Let the king tell his servants the
dream, and we will shew the interpretation of it.
 — Daniel 2:7

And he bought fine linen, and took him down, and wrapped him in
the linen, and laid him in a sepulchre which was hewn out of a
rock, and rolled a stone unto the door of the sepulchre.
 — Mark 15:46

I'm young … I'm HEALTHY … I can HIKE THRU CAPT GROGAN'S LUMBAR REGIONS!

Now therefore go to, proclaim in the ears of the people, saying,
Whosoever is fearful and afraid, let him return and depart early
from mount Gilead. And there returned of the people twenty and two
thousand; and there remained ten thousand.
 — Judges 7:3

And Moses said, This is the thing which the LORD commandeth, Fill
an omer of it to be kept for your generations; that they may see
the bread wherewith I have fed you in the wilderness, when I brought
you forth from the land of Egypt.
 — Exodus 16:32

For the LORD's portion is his people; Jacob is the lot of his
inheritance.
 — Deuteronomy 32:9

Be different: conform.

Oh, give me a locus where the gravitons focus
Where the three-body problem is solved,
Where the microwaves play down at three degrees K,
And the cold virus never evolved. (chorus)
We eat algea pie, our vacuum is high,
Our ball bearings are perfectly round.
Our horizon is curved, our warheads are MIRVed,
And a kilogram weighs half a pound. (chorus)
If we run out of space for our burgeoning race
No more Lebensraum left for the Mensch
When we're ready to start, we can take Mars apart,
If we just find a big enough wrench. (chorus)
I'm sick of this place, it's just McDonald's in space,
And living up here is a bore.
Tell the shiggies, «Don't cry,» they can kiss me goodbye
‹Cause I›m moving next week to L4! (chorus)

CHORUS: Home, home on LaGrange,
Where the space debris always collects,
We possess, so it seems, two of Man's greatest dreams:
Solar power and zero-gee sex.
 — to Home on the Range

There are new messages.

And the house which king Solomon built for the LORD, the length
thereof was threescore cubits, and the breadth thereof twenty
cubits, and the height thereof thirty cubits.
 — 1 Kings 6:2

And the settle shall be fourteen cubits long and fourteen broad in
the four squares thereof; and the border about it shall be half a
cubit; and the bottom thereof shall be a cubit about; and his stairs
shall look toward the east.
 — Ezekiel 43:17

Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands
to sleep:
 — Proverbs 6:10

Then came one and told them, saying, Behold, the men whom ye put
in prison are standing in the temple, and teaching the people.
 — Acts 5:25

So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee.
 — Psalms 73:22

Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some
ordinance under which you can be booked.
 — Robert D. Sprecht, Rand Corp.

How long, LORD? wilt thou hide thyself for ever? shall thy wrath
burn like fire?
 — Psalms 89:46

The point is, you see, that there is no point in driving yourself mad
trying to stop yourself going mad. You might just as well give in and
save your sanity for later.

Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved saith unto Peter, It is
the Lord. Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he girt
his fisher's coat unto him, (for he was naked,) and did cast himself
into the sea.
 — John 21:7

And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying,
Drink ye all of it;
 — Matthew 26:27

• Simunye is on a oc3->oc12

<daem0n> simmy: bite me. :)
<Simunye> daemon: okay :)

But Peter stood at the door without. Then went out that other
disciple, which was known unto the high priest, and spake unto her
that kept the door, and brought in Peter.
 — John 18:16

Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
 — Robert Heinlein

And she went forth, and said unto her mother, What shall I ask?
And she said, The head of John the Baptist.
 — Mark 6:24

And they gave him to drink wine mingled with myrrh: but he received
it not.
 — Mark 15:23

Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
 — Dr. Karl Bowman

Then said he to another, And how much owest thou? And he said, An
hundred measures of wheat. And he said unto him, Take thy bill,
and write fourscore.
 — Luke 16:7

Reception area, n.:
The purgatory where office visitors are condemned to spend
innumerable hours reading dog-eared back issues of trade
magazines like Modern Plastics, Chain Saw Age, and Chicken World,
while the receptionist blithely reads her own trade magazine --
Cosmopolitan.

«There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them»
- Heisenberg

And there were certain men, who were defiled by the dead body of
a man, that they could not keep the passover on that day: and they
came before Moses and before Aaron on that day:
 — Numbers 9:6

There ain't nothin' in this world that's worth being a snot over.
 — Larry Wall in <1992Aug19.041614.6963@netlabs.com>

I wouldn't be so paranoid if you weren't all out to get me!!

But thou, LORD, art most high for evermore.
 — Psalms 92:8

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
 — Hector Berlioz

Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw in the light bulb and two to fend off all those
Californians trying to share the experience.

Q: What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?
A: The same middle name.

If your hands are clean and your cause is just and your demands are
reasonable, at least it's a start.

And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and
thou shalt glorify me.
 — Psalms 50:15

I don't care for the Sugar Smacks commercial. I don't like the idea of
a frog jumping on my Breakfast.
 — Lowell, Chicago Reader 10/15/82

To wit, the two pillars, and the pommels, and the chapiters which
were on the top of the two pillars, and the two wreaths to cover
the two pommels of the chapiters which were on the top of the
pillars;
 — 2 Chronicles 4:12

Saying, Behold, we go up to Jerusalem; and the Son of man shall be
delivered unto the chief priests, and unto the scribes; and they
shall condemn him to death, and shall deliver him to the Gentiles:
 — Mark 10:33

And ye shall have on the tenth day of this seventh month an holy
convocation; and ye shall afflict your souls: ye shall not do any
work therein:
 — Numbers 29:7

And king Solomon gave unto the queen of Sheba all her desire,
whatsoever she asked, beside that which Solomon gave her of his
royal bounty. So she turned and went to her own country, she and
her servants.
 — 1 Kings 10:13

I lay my head on the railroad tracks,
Waitin' for the double E.
The railroad don't run no more.
Poor poor pitiful me. chorus
Poor poor pitiful me, poor poor pitiful me.
These young girls won't let me be,
Lord have mercy on me!
Woe is me!

Well, I met a girl, West Hollywood,
Well, I ain't naming names.
But she really worked me over good,
She was just like Jesse James.
She really worked me over good,
She was a credit to her gender.
She put me through some changes, boy,
Sort of like a Waring blender. chorus

I met a girl at the Rainbow Bar,
She asked me if I'd beat her.
She took me back to the Hyatt House,
I don't want to talk about it. chorus
 — Warren Zevon, «Poor Poor Pitiful Me»

And as for me, when I came from Padan, Rachel died by me in the
land of Canaan in the way, when yet there was but a little way to
come unto Ephrath: and I buried her there in the way of Ephrath;
the same is Bethlehem.
 — Genesis 48:7

History repeats itself — the first time as a tragi-comedy, the second
time as bedroom farce.

And the children of Israel, the priests, and the Levites, and the
rest of the children of the captivity, kept the dedication of this
house of God with joy.
 — Ezra 6:16

He brought me forth also into a large place: he delivered me,
because he delighted in me.
 — 2 Samuel 22:20

Fame may be fleeting but obscurity is forever.

Men are those creatures with two legs and eight hands.
 — Jayne Mansfield

A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.

Extraordinary claims demand extraordinary proof. There are many examples of
outsiders who eventually overthrew entrenched scientific orthodoxies, but
they prevailed with irrefutable data. More often, egregious findings that
contradict well-established research turn out to be artifacts. I have
argued that accepting psychic powers, reincarnation, «cosmic conciousness,»
and the like, would entail fundamental revisions of the foundations of
neuroscience. Before abandoning materialist theories of mind that have paid
handsome dividends, we should insist on better evidence for psi phenomena
than presently exists, especially when neurology and psychology themselves
offer more plausible alternatives.
- Barry L. Beyerstein, «The Brain and Conciousness: Implications for Psi
Phenomena», The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 163–171

Is not the meat cut off before our eyes, yea, joy and gladness from
the house of our God?
 — Joel 1:16

And the brass of the offering was seventy talents, and two thousand
and four hundred shekels.
 — Exodus 38:29

The very remembrance of my former misfortune proves a new one to me.
 — Miguel de Cervantes

And not only this; but when Rebecca also had conceived by one, even
by our father Isaac;
 — Romans 9:10

The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not
designed for people who walk on their hands.
 — John Irving, «The World According to Garp»

Have ye suffered so many things in vain? if it be yet in vain.
 — Galatians 3:4

Could be you're crossing the fine line
A silly driver kind of…off the wall

You keep it cool when it's t-t-tight
…eyes wide open when you start to fall.
- The Cars

And all the pins of the tabernacle, and of the court round about,
were of brass.
 — Exodus 38:20

… with liberty and justice for all … who can afford it.

And Moses and Eleazar the priest spake with them in the plains of
Moab by Jordan near Jericho, saying,
 — Numbers 26:3

Then Joab sent and told David all the things concerning the war;
 — 2 Samuel 11:18

For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also
of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring.
 — Acts 17:28

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
 — Dylan Thomas

And Moses said unto the LORD, O my LORD, I am not eloquent, neither
heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am
slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.
 — Exodus 4:10

And the pillars of the court round about, and their sockets, and
their pins, and their cords, with all their instruments, and with
all their service: and by name ye shall reckon the instruments of
the charge of their burden.
 — Numbers 4:32

This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be
glad in it.
 — Psalms 118:24

For the king knoweth of these things, before whom also I speak
freely: for I am persuaded that none of these things are hidden
from him; for this thing was not done in a corner.
 — Acts 26:26

Wherefore then gavest not thou my money into the bank, that at my
coming I might have required mine own with usury?
 — Luke 19:23

And there came of the children of Benjamin and Judah to the hold
unto David.
 — 1 Chronicles 12:16

Predestination was doomed from the start.

Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence,
till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing.
 — Matthew 5:26

I will hear thee, said he, when thine accusers are also come. And
he commanded him to be kept in Herod's judgment hall.
 — Acts 23:35

And he said unto him, Say now unto her, Behold, thou hast been
careful for us with all this care; what is to be done for thee?
wouldest thou be spoken for to the king, or to the captain of the
host? And she answered, I dwell among mine own people.
 — 2 Kings 4:13

And the king said, Whoever saith ought unto thee, bring him to me,
and he shall not touch thee any more.
 — 2 Samuel 14:10

Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have
we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.
 — Malachi 3:8

The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.
 — 1 Corinthians 15:26

And the servants of Absalom did unto Amnon as Absalom had commanded.
Then all the king's sons arose, and every man gat him up upon his
mule, and fled.
 — 2 Samuel 13:29

You would if you could but you can't so you won't.

So the singers, Heman, Asaph, and Ethan, were appointed to sound
with cymbals of brass;
 — 1 Chronicles 15:19

And Moses cried unto the LORD, saying, Heal her now, O God, I
beseech thee.
 — Numbers 12:13

Thy substance and thy treasures will I give to the spoil without
price, and that for all thy sins, even in all thy borders.
 — Jeremiah 15:13

A cubit shall be the length thereof, and a cubit the breadth thereof;
foursquare shall it be: and two cubits shall be the height thereof:
the horns thereof shall be of the same.
 — Exodus 30:2

Of the tribe of Ephraim, Oshea the son of Nun.
 — Numbers 13:8

For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the
latter day upon the earth:
 — Job 19:25

Take the sum of all the congregation of the children of Israel,
from twenty years old and upward, throughout their fathers' house,
all that are able to go to war in Israel.
 — Numbers 26:2

Now these are the judgments which thou shalt set before them.
 — Exodus 21:1

Oh this age! How tasteless and ill-bred it is.
 — Gaius Valerius Catullus

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou
shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies,
and thy right hand shall save me.
 — Psalms 138:7

Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the desire:
this is also vanity and vexation of spirit.
 — Ecclesiastes 6:9

Save Caleb the son of Jephunneh; he shall see it, and to him will
I give the land that he hath trodden upon, and to his children,
because he hath wholly followed the LORD.
 — Deuteronomy 1:36

That say, Let him make speed, and hasten his work, that we may see
it: and let the counsel of the Holy One of Israel draw nigh and
come, that we may know it!
 — Isaiah 5:19

The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.
 — Numbers 6:26

How shall I pardon thee for this? thy children have forsaken me,
and sworn by them that are no gods: when I had fed them to the
full, they then committed adultery, and assembled themselves by
troops in the harlots' houses.
 — Jeremiah 5:7

But the Levites shall pitch round about the tabernacle of testimony,
that there be no wrath upon the congregation of the children of
Israel: and the Levites shall keep the charge of the tabernacle of
testimony.
 — Numbers 1:53

When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I've never
tried before.
 — Mae West, «Klondike Annie»

People are very flexible and learn to adjust to strange
surroundings — they can become accustomed to read Lisp and
Fortran programs, for example.
- Leon Sterling and Ehud Shapiro, Art of Prolog, MIT Press

PLEASE DON'T SMOKE HERE!

Penalty: An early, lingering death from cancer,
emphysema, or other smoking-caused ailment.

Ye are they which have continued with me in my temptations.
 — Luke 22:28

And Jesus answering said unto them, Do ye not therefore err, because
ye know not the scriptures, neither the power of God?
 — Mark 12:24

And mine eye shall not spare thee, neither will I have pity: but
I will recompense thy ways upon thee, and thine abominations shall
be in the midst of thee: and ye shall know that I am the LORD.
 — Ezekiel 7:4

«We have the right to survive!»
«Not by killing others.»
 — Deela and Kirk, «Wink of An Eye», stardate 5710.5

Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of
a fool than of him.
 — Proverbs 29:20

And he opened the bottomless pit; and there arose a smoke out of
the pit, as the smoke of a great furnace; and the sun and the air
were darkened by reason of the smoke of the pit.
 — Revelation 9:2

How much less in them that dwell in houses of clay, whose foundation
is in the dust, which are crushed before the moth?
 — Job 4:19

For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth
endureth to all generations.
 — Psalms 100:5

«I'm an idiot.. At least this one bug took about 5 minutes to find..»
(Linus Torvalds in response to a bug report.)

I'm an idiot.. At least this bug took about 5 minutes to find..

Disquieting …
(Gonzalo Tornaria in response to Linus Torvalds's mailing about a kernel bug.)

I'm an idiot.. At least this bug took about 5 minutes to find..

We need to find some new terms to describe the rest of us mere mortals
then.
(Craig Schlenter in response to Linus Torvalds's mailing about a kernel bug.)

I'm an idiot.. At least this bug took about 5 minutes to find..

Surely, Linus is talking about the kind of idiocy that others aspire to :-).
(Bruce Perens in response to Linus Torvalds's mailing about a kernel bug.)

And one kid of the goats for a sin offering unto the LORD shall be
offered, beside the continual burnt offering, and his drink offering.
 — Numbers 28:15

And at the fountain gate, which was over against them, they went
up by the stairs of the city of David, at the going up of the wall,
above the house of David, even unto the water gate eastward.
 — Nehemiah 12:37

And he said unto me, Unto two thousand and three hundred days; then
shall the sanctuary be cleansed.
 — Daniel 8:14

And he informed me, and talked with me, and said, O Daniel, I am
now come forth to give thee skill and understanding.
 — Daniel 9:22

Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the LORD, to do
evil in his sight? thou hast killed Uriah the Hittite with the
sword, and hast taken his wife to be thy wife, and hast slain him
with the sword of the children of Ammon.
 — 2 Samuel 12:9

And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou
shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee,
speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.
 — 2 Samuel 13:13

The code also assumes that it's difficult to misspell «a» or «b». :-)
 — Larry Wall in <199710221731.KAA24396@wall.org>

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I
have loved you, that ye also love one another.
 — John 13:34

When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels
with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory:
 — Matthew 25:31

How come financial advisors never seem to be as wealthy as they
claim they'll make you?

f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd.

And a certain woman cast a piece of a millstone upon Abimelech's
head, and all to brake his skull.
 — Judges 9:53

And the prince of the tribe of the children of Asher, Ahihud the
son of Shelomi.
 — Numbers 34:27

If a man has talent and cannot use it, he has failed.
 — Thomas Wolfe

Is this your joyous city, whose antiquity is of ancient days? her
own feet shall carry her afar off to sojourn.
 — Isaiah 23:7

And Huram sent him by the hands of his servants ships, and servants
that had knowledge of the sea; and they went with the servants of
Solomon to Ophir, and took thence four hundred and fifty talents
of gold, and brought them to king Solomon.
 — 2 Chronicles 8:18

Stupidity is its own reward.

Password:

Tell me why the stars do shine,
Tell me why the ivy twines,
Tell me why the sky's so blue,
And I will tell you just why I love you.

Nuclear fusion makes stars to shine,
Phototropism makes ivy twine,
Rayleigh scattering makes sky so blue,
Sexual hormones are why I love you.

When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the LORD
thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken
them captive,
 — Deuteronomy 21:10

But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think
also that I have the Spirit of God.
 — 1 Corinthians 7:40

Things are not always what they seem.
 — Phaedrus

e-credibility: the non-guaranteeable likelihood that the electronic data
you're seeing is genuine rather than somebody's made-up crap.
- Karl Lehenbauer

And therefore it was imputed to him for righteousness.
 — Romans 4:22

These are the divisions of the porters among the sons of Kore, and
among the sons of Merari.
 — 1 Chronicles 26:19

They were a wall unto us both by night and day, all the while we
were with them keeping the sheep.
 — 1 Samuel 25:16

«During the race
We may eat your dust,
But when you graduate,
You'll work for us.»
 — Reed College cheer

Ye daughters of Israel, weep over Saul, who clothed you in scarlet,
with other delights, who put on ornaments of gold upon your apparel.
 — 2 Samuel 1:24

Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.
 — Dave Barry, «The Snake»

Now therefore take you twelve men out of the tribes of Israel, out
of every tribe a man.
 — Joshua 3:12

And he said unto him, See, I have accepted thee concerning this
thing also, that I will not overthrow this city, for the which thou
hast spoken.
 — Genesis 19:21

Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When ye come
into the land whither I bring you,
 — Numbers 15:18

Every successful person has had failures but repeated failure is no
guarantee of eventual success.

«Life sucks, but it's better than the alternative.»
-- Peter da Silva

And Hiram sent in the navy his servants, shipmen that had knowledge
of the sea, with the servants of Solomon.
 — 1 Kings 9:27

The LORD will give strength unto his people; the LORD will bless
his people with peace.
 — Psalms 29:11

I have just had eighteen whiskeys in a row. I do believe that is a record.
 — Dylan Thomas, his last words

And it came to pass, as they departed from him, Peter said unto
Jesus, Master, it is good for us to be here: and let us make three
tabernacles; one for thee, and one for Moses, and one for Elias:
not knowing what he said.
 — Luke 9:33

Truth can wait; he's used to it.

Behold, the LORD will cast her out, and he will smite her power in
the sea; and she shall be devoured with fire.
 — Zechariah 9:4

Ten fat oxen, and twenty oxen out of the pastures, and an hundred
sheep, beside harts, and roebucks, and fallowdeer, and fatted fowl.
 — 1 Kings 4:23

Hezekiah began to reign when he was five and twenty years old, and
he reigned nine and twenty years in Jerusalem. And his mother's
name was Abijah, the daughter of Zechariah.
 — 2 Chronicles 29:1

All my friends and I are crazy. That's the only thing that keeps us sane.

After this did Sennacherib king of Assyria send his servants to
Jerusalem, (but he himself laid siege against Lachish, and all his
power with him,) unto Hezekiah king of Judah, and unto all Judah
that were at Jerusalem, saying,
 — 2 Chronicles 32:9

If so be that being clothed we shall not be found naked.
 — 2 Corinthians 5:3

And he said unto me, Son of man, thus saith the Lord GOD; These
are the ordinances of the altar in the day when they shall make
it, to offer burnt offerings thereon, and to sprinkle blood thereon.
 — Ezekiel 43:18

Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith:
be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole
from that very hour.
 — Matthew 15:28

Last yeer I kudn't spel Engineer. Now I are won.

Because of the day that cometh to spoil all the Philistines, and
to cut off from Tyrus and Zidon every helper that remaineth: for
the LORD will spoil the Philistines, the remnant of the country of
Caphtor.
 — Jeremiah 47:4

Therefore the wild beasts of the desert with the wild beasts of
the islands shall dwell there, and the owls shall dwell therein:
and it shall be no more inhabited for ever; neither shall it be
dwelt in from generation to generation.
 — Jeremiah 50:39

These are the commandments and the judgments, which the LORD
commanded by the hand of Moses unto the children of Israel in the
plains of Moab by Jordan near Jericho.
 — Numbers 36:13

Love is not enough, but it sure helps.

And he said unto him that was over the vestry, Bring forth vestments
for all the worshippers of Baal. And he brought them forth vestments.
 — 2 Kings 10:22

If our behavior is strict, we do not need fun!

Q: Why do people who live near Niagara Falls have flat foreheads?
A: Because every morning they wake up thinking "What is that noise?
Oh, right, of course!

The ways of Zion do mourn, because none come to the solemn feasts:
all her gates are desolate: her priests sigh, her virgins are
afflicted, and she is in bitterness.
 — Lamentations 1:4

And the men of Babylon made Succothbenoth, and the men of Cuth made
Nergal, and the men of Hamath made Ashima,
 — 2 Kings 17:30

For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom:
and there shall be earthquakes in divers places, and there shall
be famines and troubles: these are the beginnings of sorrows.
 — Mark 13:8

Then David went over to the other side, and stood on the top of an
hill afar off; a great space being between them:
 — 1 Samuel 26:13

<Iambe> you are not a nutcase
<Knghtbrd> You obviously don't know me well enough yet. =>

And the LORD met Balaam, and put a word in his mouth, and said, Go
again unto Balak, and say thus.
 — Numbers 23:16

Now they began on the first day of the first month to sanctify,
and on the eighth day of the month came they to the porch of the
LORD: so they sanctified the house of the LORD in eight days; and
in the sixteenth day of the first month they made an end.
 — 2 Chronicles 29:17

It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing
whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.
 — Romans 14:21

Women are not much, but they are the best other sex we have.
 — Herold

And the stars of heaven shall fall, and the powers that are in
heaven shall be shaken.
 — Mark 13:25

Thou shalt therefore keep this ordinance in his season from year
to year.
 — Exodus 13:10

You can rent this space for only $5 a week.

But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work
wickedness in the sight of the LORD, whom Jezebel his wife stirred
up.
 — 1 Kings 21:25

And Jehoash the king of Israel sent to Amaziah king of Judah,
saying, The thistle that was in Lebanon sent to the cedar that was
in Lebanon, saying, Give thy daughter to my son to wife: and there
passed by a wild beast that was in Lebanon, and trode down the
thistle.
 — 2 Kings 14:9

I'm enthralled by combine harvesters. In fact, I yearn to have one --
as a pet.
 — «The Day of the Jackal»

And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will
keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and
raiment to put on,
 — Genesis 28:20

The children of Hashum, two hundred twenty and three.
 — Ezra 2:19

Then said the LORD unto Moses, Behold, I will rain bread from heaven
for you; and the people shall go out and gather a certain rate
every day, that I may prove them, whether they will walk in my law,
or no.
 — Exodus 16:4

And after certain years he went down to Ahab to Samaria. And Ahab
killed sheep and oxen for him in abundance, and for the people that
he had with him, and persuaded him to go up with him to Ramothgilead.
 — 2 Chronicles 18:2

And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save
us: we perish.
 — Matthew 8:25

But ten men were found among them that said unto Ishmael, Slay us
not: for we have treasures in the field, of wheat, and of barley,
and of oil, and of honey. So he forbare, and slew them not among
their brethren.
 — Jeremiah 41:8

Moreover ye see and hear, that not alone at Ephesus, but almost
throughout all Asia, this Paul hath persuaded and turned away much
people, saying that they be no gods, which are made with hands:
 — Acts 19:26

greenrd's law
Evey post disparaging someone else's spelling or grammar, or lauding
one's own spelling or grammar, will inevitably contain a spelling or
grammatical error.
 — greenrd in http://www.kuro5hin.org/…6/61744/5230?…